Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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