Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
