That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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