i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
