My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
