Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
