mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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