I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
