I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
