love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
