I cockslap morals
someone get that fucking seahorse.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
