don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
