I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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