i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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