you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
