Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
