Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
