a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
