Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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