I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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