is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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