did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
