Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Randomize
