Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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