well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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