So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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