i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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