I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
