Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
