Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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