Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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