i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
