guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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