Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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