i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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