is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
