She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
another moral hangover. fuck.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
