my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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