i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
