Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
