Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
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