I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
is wine microwaveable?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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