dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
