Best friends brother. Beat that.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
you inspire me to be a worse person
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
