We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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