His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
