From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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