Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
