Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize