i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize