Cold hands, warm shart.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
No subtext here. People are naked.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
