Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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