Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
