Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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