My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
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