I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
The struggles of a small town man whore
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
