Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
