how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
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