The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
