I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
