The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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