My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
