Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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