apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
