God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
