All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
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Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
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cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face