No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!