i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night