Say something about gay babies.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
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I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
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I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.